Fucking horrific - is the term the sucking abyss that I huddled beside my whole childhood trying to reclaim me still echoed in my own voice calling me to - what? not death, not freedom but to mad despair Relinquishment of all I ever could become on the altar of familial blind faith. That nothing could ever mean anything if I were not Obedient Puppetted, strung on the demands of demands of generations loudest voices. But I am the weak, the failing, that can lift from such a filthy hole some living limb & climb away, out of reach, a strength invisible, unthinkable to challenge toxic might and poisoned care. Of all possible heroes I am smallest And yet, I crawl still further Brighter, singing the names of them as I go / / on surviving abuse as an autist
Author Archives: Luitha
Lost That Way
Splitface
Split face - eye gold staring smoke smell, curling Lord they watch, brother, listening stone, waiting, cool grey upon the brass upon the wood Smile, it was said a contract made denied now, if I can, to turn away lift hand a no - a space to hold within, softening breath opens in return those eyes watch - forget that telling - deafen to this need, noticed, known bring to the eye call out, truth mine
Circus
I dreamt of the circus
Of hand painted wooden homes
Better traveled than me
A cat on a ledge
Watching lazy after hours
The bonfires will be gone by morning
Leaving wheel ruts in the mud
Laughter, music in the early hours
As we care take the dreams
Of those who sleep
// Eóten
Thieves
I love that you give me
all that power
It’s a fair exchange
For a millennial buried
A lifetime denied
Let me frighten you again
It’s good for you
A reminder you are not in
Absolute control alone
// Eoten
Complex sex
How can I be sex
Straddling
Rose lips and cropped
Hawkfaced
Hair like otter fur
Moving invisible between
Strut and slink
Hidden places soft beneath
Hard words
My nakedness is freedom
Without defining wrappings
Unshelved and moving real
Intertwining complex
Conflicted
Outside demands that i
Am untethered to
Beyond tongue ties breathing
Unseen before you
// Eoten